People That Take Ages to Reply

As someone that suffers with anxiety generally, phones are a nightmare. The build up to making an important phone call, the pacing back and forth to gain the courage to speak to someone, and worst of all waiting for text responses on days where you are not busy enough to keep distracted. 

I don't have an iPhone, I have a Windows phone. So I do not have the ellipses bubble pop up to let me know they are typing a response. You think it's bad when you see that bubble and are waiting for their reply? Try using a phone that doesn't alert you if they've even seen your text. No way of knowing whether they've seen your message, if they're busy, ignoring you, dead, or their phone is broken. 

The process goes a little like this:

After sending an important or risky text and not getting a reply in minutes, you know your mind is going to start playing tricks on you. 

You put your phone face down in the hope that It will prevent you from checking it. When in fact it makes you pick it up more to see if you just missed a text. 

You start to hear things that sound like your text notification sound, only to see nothing.

You wonder whether your text actually went through at all, and triple check that it says the date and time under your message. 

You consider sending another to say "Just a quick text to make sure you got my first one?" which in some situations is dodgy. If you're checking on your teenager, this is okay. But if it's a text to someone you're recently dating, no! 

You start to feel like a psycho and realise that they just might be busy, or have had no signal. 

But then get annoyed when remembering all the other platforms they could contact you on, or worse: You see them online in Facebook chat!

Yes!!! You heard that, that was definitely a text! *Opens it to reveal someone other than the person you're waiting for a reply from*

You try to distract yourself with other things, which if you're alone on a Sunday is difficult to do! But even if you leave your phone in another room and put it on silent you find yourself still going to check on it.

Ughh! Still nothing. *Slamming it back down*

*Walks out of the room saying "Well f*** you then. I have better things to do than wait for you."*  ...  *Only to walk back in to check again 10 minutes later* 

Yes! They've finally replied! That wasn't so bad. I'll just type my quick response back now. 

*Types quick yet reply-able response*...

...

You think 'Okay what the hell? I just replied 23 seconds after I got your text and now 3 hours later no reply again?' 

You decide to make it a bit clearer that you're expecting a reply by texting "Hey there! Just wanted to double check you are on for Saturday evening. Do you still need a lift? Let me know if you want me to bring that book I told you about"

No reply that day but alas! Late the following morning you hear the satisfying ping of your text notification. 

You see their name and excitedly open their text to reveal...

"Ok"

*Hurls phone out the window* Arghhh! 

Confessions of a Tinder Girl

I joined Tinder in late May 2015 not for a quick fling, not because I was searching for Mr. Right, but because I was just so curious as to what type of people were using it. Is it the new way of dating? In the age of fast food, coffees to go and instant messaging, was this app the key to successful modern relationships? 

There is a personal profile section where you type a short bio and select up to 6 images. For my main picture I decided on the zoo visit with a sea lion hugging me. I felt it portrayed my child like personality well, after all I wasn't going to post sexy pics. I didn't want to give off the wrong impression. I then posted a few different shots, a collage of me feeding animals, a close up with my sunflower earrings, and one with my hair in a different style.

As I got started on the function of the app I soon came to the realisation that most of the people on here were looking for something very specific. I lost count of my left swipes of topless gym selfies, and bios which read "tattoed", "6ft3" and "I love a drink". It made me wonder whether most of the ladies' bio on here reads their bra size and weight.

There was also the odd image that was definitely a wedding portrait, and I occasionally found myself squinting trying to work out if the lady getting a piggy back was a sibling or girlfriend. 

There was also the odd person definitely female, who must have accidentally set her Facebook profile to state male. I wonder at what point she realises why she isn't getting matches. Some people's pictures consisted entirely of their children, making me ponder if they downloaded the wrong category of app. 

Some people didn't have an image or bio at all. Just the plain Facebook silhouette. 

*Continues to left swipe*

Occasionally someone would catch my attention. Usually when the main photo is a pleasant friendly looking non-arrogant photo of them smiling. (There are so many moody looking close ups on Tinder...) People with main images that would automatically be skipped without any bio reading: Topless, group photos, gym selfies, smoking, grumpy pouting, covered in tattoos, a beer in each hand, a motorbike, and anyone who looked like they are lying about their age. Maybe I'm picky, or maybe the Tinder pond with available fish was full of anchovies.  

One particular person had a main profile picture with an elephant in the background. I clicked to read his bio and he seemed nice enough. I swiped right to be greeted with "It's a Match!" meaning he had already right swiped me. I wasn't sure of the etiquette when it comes to who messages first, and whether it is acceptable to message right after a match.

Within about 20 minutes he had messaged me. A general greeting consisting of the usual "Hey, how are you?", "Do you have any good plans?" small talk. After chatting for a few days it became much less formal, talking about what we were watching on Netflix. I managed to convince him to give Once Upon A Time a chance. 

One morning I opened up Tinder to see a 'Moment' posted from him, which is like an image status update. Moments stay posted for 24 hours and people have the option to like the picture. His picture consisted of simple bold black text reading "Where are all the submissive girls looking for a dominant man?!" 

I unmatched him and immediately went to edit my personal profile to include "I'm looking for friends".

I had about 10 matches, and I was mid conversation with three of them. One other was online at least every hour yet had not responded to my greeting, which to me said he must have had a lot of matches. I pressed the 'unmatch' button. I also unmatched two who hadn't been online in three weeks. Maybe they had found love! 

It was unwritten etiquette that the person to match last would be the first person to message, so I grew frustrated with new matches that didn't speak at all. Do you seriously have so many matches that you can't speak to them? Maybe you should raise your standards if you're right swiping so many people. 

Shortly after the dominant man, I came across a good looking profile. Tall, dark and handsome, properly filled out paragraph, and someone that bothered to message first after the match. I felt more enthusiastic to chat when the man messaged first. 

Small talk progressing, our conversations were ongoing over the coming days. We spoke about our favourite products from lush, our interests and plans. When I said where I am from, he said "That's a bit of a drive...". We were about a half hour drive from each other, which I didn't think was far at all. My best friend is about that far and we see each other regularly. I found this a tad odd too, as it shows the distance before you swipe to match. 
Continuing my 'research', I came across a profile whose image was of a white van. It made me think his phone accidentally unlocked in his pocket and downloaded Tinder. I was tempted to right swipe to ask, but I'm sure there could also be many more reasons for the white van, some I wouldn't want to find out about. 

I have to admit, there were a couple of occasions where I have swiped left only to then exclaim "No! I meant right!!" and lost a handsome outdoorsy animal and Netflix lover. 

The 'handsome man' was still chatting to me, and would often make effort to message and update me on what he was doing, what was going on with work, and asking how I am if we hadn't spoken in a while. He went on a trip abroad with his family, but still kept in touch. 

A couple of weeks of chatting to him he was back from his trip, and I got a message asking how I am. I said 'All good here, how are you?' And he replied "I'm deleting this but here is my number - ###" I wondered why he wanted to keep in touch, when he'd mentioned the distance being a problem. 

I saved his number and text him to let him know mine. He asked what I was up to and there was a bit of small talk before the following message:

"I know you said you aren't looking for love but I wanted to say that this will probably remain platonic, is that ok?"

I remembered previously telling him (As well as it being in my personal bio) that I was looking for friends, so this wasn't a problem to me. What WAS a problem was when I remembered that he mentioned the distance being an issue. After all what kind of rubbish friendship exists only through text? I replied "Of course! Is that why you deleted the app, you got lucky? xD"

He responded saying "Kinda, I'm gonna see how it plays out". 

I then realised, maybe I was the back up lady that he'd go for if this one didn't work out for him! I initially found it peculiar that he wanted to keep in touch through mobile, even though he said it's a bit far...

So said "I was disappointed when you said Stockton was 'a bit of a drive'" as I had seen a potential friendship and wanted to confirm that he still wanted to proceed in this 'platonic' way. His reply was even more disappointing "Well it is!" 

I should note here that on Tinder, you have to set what distance radius you want to search, so he had set that himself. I decided not to contact him again. 


Tinder started to die out for me as I soon found it very boring. People on here didn't seem to be the conversational type, I was very rarely impressed with anyone's paragraph of information and I was just endlessly left swiping. I have arrived at the conclusion that it is more a social network for quick hook ups, as opposed to an app to create meaningful conversations or friendships. I deleted the app in early July.  
*Sips Tea* 

Rant of a Retail Worker

I work in a supermarket and i've seen it all. Strange people buying condoms and arse medicine, people wetting themselves, and lonely people buying lots and lots and LOTS of wine. But in this blog, I'm going to highlight some small yet common customer mistakes, that probably irritate the staff in store.

• Unless you are very old or disabled, there is no reason to stroll so slowly down the middle of an aisle unaware of those around you! It's like having road rage trying to get past these people when you're on your way to a break. Oh, which is 10 minutes now, thank you! 

• Please don't ask me really obscure things, as I'm not an expert. I will not know off the top of my head whether we have apetina with garlic any more, I'll have to check. We don't have stripy blue prawn cocktail flavoured bin bags, sorry. 

• I'm a little bit deaf, so please don't mumble! So far i've had customers ask me if we have 'chink doritos', salmonella, and 'where are the sewers'... 

• Get off the darn phone when i'm trying to serve you. We have to make conversation and it's difficult to do when you're moaning to your husband or telling your friend that you want to catch up soon. It's also always conveniently at the end of scanning the shop that these people go "I'm at the checkout now, got to go" ...Don't hold up the queue for your chit chat! 

• SMILE at me! If I smile at you, which will be always, then smile back. That's basic manners. If the older people can do it while they're struggling to hold themselves up, you there with your Louis Vuitton bag can. Snob. 

• We don't have every single item in the whole world ever. So when you ask the checkout supervisor for something you forgot to look for and they bring you a different one as we don't do yours, don't whinge to me. They did their job! 

• No I can't scan your loyalty card after I've finished your shop and said have a nice day. Spaz. 

• Do. Not. Throw. Things. At. Me! This really really really winds me up. I have my hand held out, do not throw your loyalty card at me while you see if you have any vouchers in the depths of your Louis Vuitton. Not only does it damage my nails to scrape it off the counter, but it's bad manners. My big customer service grin usually twitches at this point. 

• On that note, clean your damn nails! So many people I see with really short nails seems to be unaware that they actually have a nail FUNGUS. Short nails on ladies generally really creep me out anyway, so please don't touch me. 

• I've never understood what peoples problem is with being asked for ID. Yes you do look under 25. If that's a problem then don't drink! And oh look, I was right to ID you as you're only 20. 

• Don't eat something, then expect me to be fine with touching the gross leftovers to scan it. Okay, a packet of crisps is fine provided you have the cash if your card gets declined. But eating a banana and leaving the skin is NOT okay. No. Nonono. 

• If you drop something, please pick it up... It doesn't magically find its way on to the shelf again, I have to bend over to get it. Especially don't drop it, then stare straight into my eyes as you walk away as though to say "Yeees, you pick up my sh*t now."

  

• Please don't hover around where i'm working trying to build up the courage to come and flirt with me. It's so awkward. 

• If you stack things on the conveyor belt so high, things are bound to fall off. Don't moan that it was the last one when that glass object you 'carefully' placed on top of 7 yoghurts falls over and smashes. 

• And oh my goodness me, control your kids! Don't let them climb on the conveyor belt. Everyone in the store is secretly hoping they get their finger caught. Or better yet their lips, so they might seal shut. 

With all this said, I really like my job. Things that actually get to me are so rare, and I have so many people that come to my till/aisle and make me feel really good. I have people that chat to me about their pets, a holiday, or tell me a joke. And a good compliment can get me through a whole shift! But sorry, I won't give you my number.  

Top 10 Things That Irritate Me

Top 10 things that irritate me

While it may all be true, I hope this is amusing.

10 - Football

Football in general does not irritate me. It can be great. The world Cup and Euros bring the majority together, however league teams create more conflict than they do celebration. My most hated team are without a doubt Chelsea. You have a few good English footballers in there, while the remaining are either NOT English or are woman using ****'s. What annoys me more than some actual teams are the fans of those teams. I've heard many a time how proud they are to support an English team. English?

I don't think you can equate this:

To this..:

9 - Bugs

Bleurgh. I love animals, but bugs make me feel claustrophobic and outnumbered. I'll get rid of a spider (Not an "insect", but they may as well be), and it'll turn out that there's another. I have a phobia of wasps, they're difficult to get out of a room. They always seem to squeeze in when I've got the window on the latch, and after all my shrieking and running I have to gather the courage to go and open the window to let it out. 

8 - Food

Admittedly it's a bit strange for this to be on a list portraying negative things. Food in general, disgusts me. Initially this gives off the impression I'm a size 6 anorexic who's afraid of any more than a celery stick. It's quite the opposite! I have Selective Eating Disorder. In Layman's terms, extreme fussiness. I survive mainly on potato based foods, however not potatoes themselves. Crisps, chips, waffles. I'm that person that bits a crisp in half because one side is brown or green. I struggle to eat different brands of the same food. It's all psychological. The main thing I dislike about food is the smell, most foods reek! Eggs, curry, vegetables: Vile! If it doesn't smell good, I certainly won't be eating it.

7 - People who eat said food noisily

It drives me mental to hear someone eating with their mouth open. If you have celery, popcorn, pringles, or slurp soup stay the hell away from me! Who first thought of having popcorn in the cinema? Sure have an ice cream, as long as you don't make a mess or slobber it... It's bad enough two of my senses are offended - Sight and smell, but now it's hearing too. 

6 - "Positive stereotypes"

"I'm an emo and proud", "I'm a goth", "I'm a biker". It confuses me. When we're teenagers, we go through phases. I went through some myself. Now I've grown up a bit, I can look back and see how silly it is. I like wearing nighties, but that doesn't make me lazy. I like leaving my hair messy, but that doesn't make me a tramp. I like wearing posh clothes, but I'm not stuck-up. So why call yourself names just because you're styled a certain way? I remember being 16 and wanting to dye my hair black, which my parents said  no to. Thank God, as I'd have looked horrible and have terrible hair now! 

5 - Communism/Extreme left wing

A lot of you will disagree with me on this one. Communism doesn't work. Robin Hood was a thief, not a hero. If you come into a lot of money for free, I agree on giving some of it away, but that's down to the persons own decision. However, I do not agree that money should be taken from those that go and earn it, when there are people on estates abusing the benefit system and devouring society by having children at 16. Contraception should not be free. If you're wealthy enough to be married or afford a decent relationship (Which will include bonding activities that can cost money), you can afford contraception. (That's a point relating to "You shouldn't be having casual sex", because anything sexual is for two people that know for certain they are in love) Think about it, it's free, and children still aren't using it. "I forgot, ", "I don't know"...  How does this link? While I may not be a strong supporter of any political party as they all have pros and cons, I am more against Labour and the democrats. One of the things I liked about Obama was that he said he was going to stop the wars and bring troops home. People are still out there dying. With all seriousness now in place, I'd make a great world leader.

4 - People 'better' than me.

Now of course, you're never going to be the BEST at anything. There's always someone better than you. But I'm referring to those that are supposedly better than you at something, and feel the need to boast about it. I've been brought up in an almost stereotypical Chinese way, If you're not first, you're nothing. In a contest with 10 awards, second place is as my dad once said "the same as being last". So that only adds salt to the wound. This annoyance, however, is my own fault. I can choose to not let it irritate me, but I usually choose the "one-up them" option. Oh the day when I change my mind on that, life won't be as much of a struggle.

3 - Water stains

Rrrrrrr! I hate going to the kitchen drawer, only to find all the cutlery with splodges of dried stagnant water. My annoyance stems partly from an incident 3 or so years ago. The lazy manatee would never do the drying up, and instead would leave it on the draining board for the bacteria to have a party in the moist puddles. I went to the kitchen only to find woodlice crawling on the drying plates! It's not much effort to dry them with a clean towel and put them away! Now dishwashers. I for one, am against dishwashers as a whole. It takes a lot longer for the dishwasher cycle than to go through the whole cleaning process manually. So why spend so much money when you're only going to go "Ohh, I have to go and take it out now" (Which you still need a towel for, as cups and bowls are still wet)..?

2 - People

There are so many different types of people, some are bound to annoy you. There are so many types that irritate me. One being exes. Oh no, not my own, but exes of the people I date. I have a strange natural hatred, that's most likely immature. What they apparently did, the kind of person they are, and why they were able to steal something away from someone you care about. It's only normal to feel that way, eh?
People, in general, get on my nerves. I'm not really a people person. When I meet someone new, I never know what to say. I can't make spontaneous conversation, and I'm awkward when someone starts one with me. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite interesting and definitely unique, but I suppose this personality is a by-product of being a gamer. Small talk can be pleasant, but It's rarely comfortable. Better it people I already know, toddlers, elderly people, and (rather rarely) people with similar interests. I find it difficult getting on with people who have very strong views on something I'm the opposite on, for example Atheism, Football, or general morality. It's okay to believe something different, but it's not okay to try to prove my beliefs wrong. I CAN back up all my views. You will NOT win the argument. The people that annoy me most of all, are those that believe they can have an opinion on something when they have no experience on it at all. Teaching a teenager they should be studying instead of playing games daily is futile. They'll have to learn the hard way. To be honest, I generally prefer other animals to humans.

1 - Customer services

It may be a subject linking from "People", but these in particular are the worst. Whether it be a rude receptionist or a grumpy waiter, Customer service people really get on my nerves. Ebay resolution centre is one of the worst, however that's a different story. Last week I encountered my first ever rude cab driver. Usually they're chatty and ask about my day. Occasionally you have one that's on the phone and it can be annoying, but at least they leave me alone. However this one was diabolical when it comes to social ettiquette. I had arrived back home after a stay at my boyfriends, and decided to try a meter taxi. Already irritated as the first taxi in the queue was a large black cab like one, I asked him how much it would be to my street. He grumpily asked for more details. I said the specific part of the road. Maybe he should have taken note of this, as he didn't end up stopping where I told (Numerous times) him to. As I put my suitcase in, I saw that the meter read £3.00. I hadn't even got in yet, and he'd already started the meter! As I got in he did the usual "abiding by the speed limit to get some extra £" bollocks. When he got to my road he pretended to be confused and drove "piss-take" slowly, so I had to hurry him by saying "It's further down the road...". When we arrived close, I said stop here. He stopped, (Well, he didn't, he stopped 100 yards or so past it) and it read £7.40. I said out loud "So that's £7.40" looking in my purse, to make it clear I'd seen how much it said when he stopped. However, he had not pressed the button to stop it. It went up to £7.60 as I was getting the money out. I handed over a tenner and he gave me £2.40 change. I checked, and said "You've given me the wrong change, mate." He immediately responded with a very raised voice and said "No, It was £7.60 when I pressed it". I said "No, not only was it £7.40 when you stopped, but you started it before I'd even got in the taxi." He repeated "It's £7.60. I stopped it at £7.60", pointing at it, as if the situation was that I'm just stupid. I had had enough, and said "What's the name of your company?" And as if it was the most difficult question he'd ever been asked (Though he can't be too bright given his profession and obliviousness to job requirements) he just shrugged and said "I don't know. I'm hackney cabs." I ended with a very firm voice (The kind you give to a toddler that's just hit their sibling) by saying "You do NOT start the meter before the customer has got in". And with that I threatened him by looking at his number plate in the hope that he was worried he was in serious trouble. Now if I had let myself get to my normal stage of anger (I had even thought through my insult; "Are you from Saudi Arabia?" implying he always treats women badly), I would most likely have been arrested. However, I know I'm not alone here, and I now understand why people complain about cab drivers, and I hope I've explained thoroughly why this has made the top of the list. 

I'm in the process of creating a "10 things that make me happy" entry, to prove I'm not all a miserable arse.