Thursday, 18 September 2014

Rant of a Retail Worker

I work in a supermarket and i've seen it all. Strange people buying condoms and arse medicine, people wetting themselves, and lonely people buying lots and lots and LOTS of wine. But in this blog, I'm going to highlight some small yet common customer mistakes, that probably irritate the staff in store.


  • Unless you are very old or disabled, there is no reason to stroll so slowly down the middle of an aisle unaware of those around you! It's like having road rage trying to get past these people when you're on your way to a break. Oh, which is 10 minutes now, thank you! 

  • Please don't ask me really obscure things, as I'm not an expert. I will not know off the top of my head whether we have apetina with garlic any more, I'll have to check. We don't have stripy blue prawn cocktail flavoured bin bags, sorry. 

  • I'm a little bit deaf, so please don't mumble! So far i've had customers ask me if we have 'chink doritos', salmonella, and 'where are the sewers'... 

  • Get off the darn phone when i'm trying to serve you. We have to make conversation and it's difficult to do when you're moaning to your husband or telling your friend that you want to catch up soon. It's also always conveniently at the end of scanning the shop that these people go "I'm at the checkout now, got to go" ...Don't hold up the queue for your chit chat! 

  • SMILE at me! If I smile at you, which will be always, then smile back. That's basic manners. If the older people can do it while they're struggling to hold themselves up, you there with your Louis Vuitton bag can. Snob. 


  • We don't have every single item in the whole world ever. So when you ask the checkout supervisor for something you forgot to look for and they bring you a different one as we don't do yours, don't whinge to me. They did their job! 

  • No I can't scan your loyalty card after I've finished your shop and said have a nice day. Spaz. 

  • Do. Not. Throw. Things. At. Me! This really really really winds me up. I have my hand held out, do not throw your loyalty card at me while you see if you have any vouchers in the depths of your Louis Vuitton. Not only does it damage my nails to scrape it off the counter, but it's bad manners. My big customer service grin usually twitches at this point. 

  • On that note, clean your damn nails! So many people I see with really short nails seems to be unaware that they actually have a nail FUNGUS. Short nails on ladies generally really creep me out anyway, so please don't touch me. 


  • I've never understood what peoples problem is with being asked for ID. Yes you do look under 25. If that's a problem then don't drink! And oh look, I was right to ID you as you're only 20. 


  • Don't eat something, then expect me to be fine with touching the gross leftovers to scan it. Okay, a packet of crisps is fine provided you have the cash if your card gets declined. But eating a banana and leaving the skin is NOT okay. No. Nonono. 

  • If you drop something, please pick it up... It doesn't magically find its way on to the shelf again, I have to bend over to get it. Especially don't drop it, then stare straight into my eyes as you walk away as though to say "Yeees, you pick up my sh*t now."
  
  • Please don't hover around where i'm working trying to build up the courage to come and flirt with me. It's so awkward. 


  • If you stack things on the conveyor belt so high, things are bound to fall off. Don't moan that it was the last one when that glass object you 'carefully' placed on top of 7 yoghurts falls over and smashes. 


  • And oh my goodness me, control your kids! Don't let them climb on the conveyor belt. Everyone in the store is secretly hoping they get their finger caught. Or better yet their lips, so they might seal shut. 


With all this said, I really like my job. Things that actually get to me are so rare, and I have so many people that come to my till/aisle and make me feel really good. I have people that chat to me about their pets, a holiday, or tell me a joke. And a good compliment can get me through a whole shift! But sorry, I won't give you my number.